It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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