You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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