fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
