I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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