He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
