Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
