Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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