I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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