So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
