Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
