Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
