Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
