Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
