He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
where does the pee come out of this thing
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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