tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I wear drunk well.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
