then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
