So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize