The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
