just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize