Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
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