so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
