Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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