Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
