C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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