the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Mom said you looked used
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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