i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
