Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
