One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize