In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
