just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
