Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
In America we eat man semen.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
