i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
