Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
