Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
