You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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