Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize