I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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