Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Actions speak louder than pants.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
