i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
