It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
