You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
