Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
