Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
