We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
