Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I came so hard my ears popped.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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