we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Drunk is not a location!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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