Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
