Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
