I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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