It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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