Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
