I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I love having hate sex.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
