I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
