Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
