Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
