T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
