does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
