thus making me awesome and them whores
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She bit a glass in half.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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