guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
