i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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