Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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