I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
accomplished twins. life is a go
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
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