i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
