Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
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