is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
